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Chicago

I have only been to Chicago one time, and it was in January. Needless to say, I froze my buns off. This time it was a little different, but only on Sunday. First off, my flight was delayed leaving Atlanta. I have never been so happy to hear that my flight was delayed, as I would have missed it otherwise. Once I got to Midway, my bags took FOREVER, which put me right in the middle of rush hour traffic. Overhearing someone talk about how long it was going to take to drive into the city, I opted to try and be a "city girl" (or imitate one as best as I could) and take the "L" train. It may be the "T", the "Tube", "Marta", "Metra"..who knows. It was a train, and it went underground, and it was scary. I hate subways and trains, and have learned they are not for me. (I much prefer to travel in style with my parents, ha, ha). I was lugging a 50lb bag that USED to be my favorite bag-large duffel on wheels, with an extra long handle that pulled out from under it that was perfect for my extra long monkey arms. Mistake #1. The lady told me to take the "Orange line" to get to the Fairmont hotel. She failed to mention coming from Midway I needed to get OFF the orange line, get on the brown line (or some other color..I am trying to block out the entire experience of getting to my hotel, so the details have started to fade away), then get BACK on the orange line...or I'd get stuck on the loop...which is exactly what I did. As I am sitting in the seat, looking at the map, I slowly realized I was going to go in a square around downtown..when I would have been THE NEXT STOP if the train didn't turn (hence, the changing of the trains I was supposed to do). So, I take a little extra ride around the city in the nasty train, where I am guarding my purse with both arms, have my sleeves covering my jewelry and am just trying to stare at the ground. I finally get to my stop, and ask the oh so nice man with no teeth working the subway station how to get to the Fairmont. Apparently his Fairmont is different than the one I was staying at, because he told me to go to Lake St., then to Michigan Ave, up 3 blocks...and that's where he lost me. On a different note, I am not sure what people with disabilities do in this city-there are NO elevators. Every train station was nothing but steps. By the end of the weekend I felt like I should file a formal complaint, as I am now a member of the Americans with Disabilities group after hurting my back lugging 50 lb suitcases up and down 3 flights of old, shaky stairs. Back to heading to the hotel. So I head down the steps, with my bag bouncing one step at a time. Then I hear it. The god awful sound of something cracking. Yup, wheel broke, so the entire bottom right corner of my bag is caving in. I started up the block to Lake, literally sliding this bag along the cement...sure it was going to rip open and all of my stuff would be all over the streets of downtown Chicago. Get to Lake St, make the right, go down a block to Michigan..still with the gimp bag behind me in one hand, and my rolling computer bag that was filled to the top in the other. At one point I had to turn around and pull the bags and walk backwards, because it was starting to feel like my shoulder was getting pulled out of the joint. I get to Michigan Ave, and turn left and started heading the three blocks north...now, those not from Chicago may not be aware, but Michigan Ave is like Atlanta's"Peachtree Street"..LA's "Robertson Blvd", NYC's "5th Ave"...its busy, its packed, and there are people everywhere. I am walking BACKWARDS, dragging a huge bag on the ground that is caving in one one side and making a nails on a chalkboard sound, and just trying to find some humor in all the people staring at me. I get up 3 blocks and ask another sketchy looking person where the Fairmont is. No clue. So I call them from my phone, and give the lady the intersection I was at...and of course, I was no where near where I needed to be. I had to back track 3 blocks, then cross the street, go up 3 flights of stairs, go to the next light, make a left, and the hotel should be on the left. Seriously? You've got to be kidding me. I went to Australia alone when I was 23, and I cannot even navigate around a major US city by myself? Ugh.

Seeing the sign of the Fairmont is only what I can imagine seeing the gates of Heaven will be like. It was like I had reached the Holy Land. ;-) So, I get to the hotel, meet up with Erin Melick for a drink, and we head out to dinner. After dinner we decided to check out the local "scene" and it was insane. Apparently no one wears jeans in this town. I had on a sundress and an Under Armour (see previous blog for my die hard love for all that is Under Armour) fleece (it was COLD) and flip flops. The bar we were at was packed, and all the girls had micro minidresses on, super high heels, and they were just dressed UP. In the bars in Atlanta, the girls wear expensive jeans, cute tops, and fancy heels. I do not think there was a single pair of jeans on a girl in the entire bar. Erin and I just thought that was weird. I am sure if they didn't even wear jeans, they loved my UA fleece. It is quite chic, in my opinion.

So we left there and started headed back, and Erin and I started talking about how we prefer "dive bars" where you just go in and have a good time, and you don't care what you have on, or if your hair and make up are done. Just as we say that, we pass what is sure to be the worlds best description of a "dive bar"...and as equally disgusting and dirty as the train. The door was a simple door, with a piece of construction paper on it that said "come in", under scaffolding on a super shady corner next towhat appeared to be a very popular 7-11. We looked at each other and decided we had to check it out. They had been open 30 years, and were still "cash only". Erin and I took a seat at the bar, and the older lady bartending was very proud to say she had been bartending there over 20 years. Luck of all luck, we end up next to the 23 year old nephew of the owner...and we know that because he told us no less than 20 times. He must have said "so what are you ladies doing tomorrow night?" 15 times. He invited us to a "hotel party", then, and I quote, "a kegger", and last, but certainly not least, a party he had saved up all summer for, that he was hosting the following night. Funny, becuase he had all these "amazing" options, yet was sitting as this nasty bar, alone. He asked our ages and when we told him he goes "wow. I thought girls your age are usually at Home Depot, bed bath and beyond, or home watching CSI on a Friday night...not out at a bar, having a good time". Nice one, guy. We asked him if he had graduated college yet (he said he "went" to U of I) and he said "No, not yet. I'm kinda doing a victory lap...again" (meaning he was about to start year 6). As Erin is sipping the worlds smallest vodka soda and I am trying to explain to this guy we aren't interested in his "kegger", this little man comes up and taps me on the shoulder and says "I play this song for you". He had very broken English and was probably 5'3...and when I turned around he was sitting on a bar stool right behind us, just staring at us. The song was a Dave Matthews song I had never heard, and as soon as it was over, he left. Weird.

So then two huge men came up and asked if they could take their picture with us. They completely grossed me out and I found one to be actually quite frightening. We gave the bartender my camera and he bent down and put his arm around me and I think I just about jumped out of my skin. As we were leaving they were outside, and he was VERY proud of his convertible Thunderbird, that was "sittin' on 22's" and asked if I would take a picture with his "ride". Erin jumped on this one and grabbed my camera and quickly got on his side, with "yea, Allison, pose next to the car". I tried to get the picture taken from behind the car, but ended up having to stand in front in order for them to let us say goodbye and go home. Just like on the subway, I had my sleeves down to my fingertips, my purse UNDER my UA fleece, and my arms double crossed in front of me to hide any and all things valuable. The walk back to the hotel was long and not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of "safety first".

So, onto Saturday. Erin Straight got there bright and early, and we had a great day at Wriggleyville, eating at Gino's authentic Chicago pizza (which was bizarre looking and not at all what I expected), the race expo, an architectural boat tour, and then we walked the miracle mile. It was FREEZING cold, so we had to run into a souvenir shop before the boat tour and we all got the ugliest Chicago sweatshirts...not on purpose-everything in the store was god awful ugly. If there was a cute option, we would have gone with it, but they were all pretty heinous. But, they kept us warm, or at least warmer than we were before we had them, so mission accomplished. Erin got her daughter a princess dress and I ran into Macy's to get a replacement bag for the trip home...I was not going to lug my broken luggage all the way back. We found a very cool 80's restaurant/bar to have dinner at, and they played all 80's big hair band music, and all the decorations were pictures from tv shows/movies from the 80s. The food was great, but we were beyond exhausted, our backs hurt and our feet were tired and sore from walking literally all day long. WE finally got back to the hotel at 10:30, and got to bed sometime around midnight, only to take up around 4:30.

Race day was beautiful and much warmer than the day before. The course was GORGEOUS, and ran all along the lake and had beautiful views of the Chicago skyline the entire second half. The first half was all through downtown, which was also very cool. This was the first race I ran in my vibrams, which was awesome, except for the drawbridges (which there were a ton of)...the 10 feet where the bridge comes together was spiked and killed my feet. Luckily I am a quick learner, and after the second one when I saw one coming up I jumped up on the sidewalk for the 10 feet, and then back into the street after we passed over it. Erin M was a "roadie" (volunteer) and Erin S was a track star. It was her first half, and she absolutely rocked it. The course ended up being 13.64 miles long, and for that distance I got a 2:01:22 and she got a 1:55:12, but I set my Garmin to tell me the time at 13.1 and I was a 1:56:28 and she was a 1:50. That girl is a natural athlete, and was on a mission to break 2 hours, which she did easily.

We had a great time at the post race expo, and met some really nice people (see blog about "why I run", as this was a perfect example). I exchanged some emails today with a very nice girl we met afterwards, and we met a guy who offered to take our picture, and then ended up insisting on taking about 20 to capture all the different views. Grant Park and Millennium Park were BEAUTIFUL and it was amazing to see parks like that the downtown of a city. They had a tent for kids to come make arts and crafts, bike rentals, everything. It really did live up to everything people had said about it....it was an amazing place in the summertime.

We headed back to the hotel, showered, changed, and then started back towards the train...my arch nemisis of the weekend. Once again we had to carry our bags up three flights of steps, fight the turnstile to get me AND my bag through on one "pass", and wrestle our way back to the airport. It was a quick goodbye for everyone, as all of our flights were boarding by the time we made it through the airport. My flight ended up delayed, and then Delta decided to board in "free service" mode, which I had never heard of before. Basically, it was every man for him or herself, with no seat assignments. As luck would have it, I was next to the worlds most annoying mom and her two year old. She spoke so loud people 10 rows up were turning and looking at her, and everything was in the 3rd person. "Does Eliza want some juice?" "Does Eliza want some play dough?" Now "Eliza" was not a baby...she was probably a little over 2, which I found odd that the mom spoke to her that way. We finally boarded, pushed back and OF COURSE, the captain came on and said we were delayed an hour. Then after an hour, another hour. What was supposed to get me home by 4:30 ended up getting me home around 9 pm sunday night, with a final to study for for Monday.

Even with the subway/train ride, the sketchy people at the bar, and the hellacious flight home, it was a great weekend in Chi-town. The Burbage/Straight duo rides again!

What is the special ingredient??

I have made friends over the years from all over the place-living in California, Washington DC, growing up in Atlanta, various jobs/careers, and also just chance encounters that turned into great friendships. I met my friend Whitney when we went out with a mutual friend one night (Whitney and I had never met) and the mutual friend ditched us to go off with some "hot guy", and Whitney and I ended up having one of the most fun nights that I will never forget. We started off the night as strangers, and ended the night as good friends. We are still friends to this day, and I was lucky enough to attend her wedding last fall. I went to high school for four years with 2400 other kids, but from my graduating class I still keep in daily contact with only ONE person...yet I went on a week long graduation trip with a rival high school, and from that one week's vacation I have been a BRIDESMAID in 2 of the GUYS weddings (the guys had me stand on the brides side), and am very close with a handful of other guys from that trip that are like family to me, still 15 years later. Through facebook I have reconnected with a lot of friends that I both made and lost touch with over the years...some of the exchanges are the typical "How are you, where are you, how are the husband and kids, etc" and then that's the end of that, and no more than seeing their status update here and there...while others have actually rekindled the FRIENDSHIP all over again, and in some cases, they are even stronger than before. So what is that special ingredient that allows for the friend "connection" with some people, but not others? Why does that connection have a limited life span on some people, and others that bond lasts a lifetime? Some people you feel that connection with while you are in similar stages of your life, but as soon as one moves into a different stage, the connection seems to weaken or break. How do you go to school for four years with the same group of people and have one life long friend 15 years later, but go on a weeks vacation and end up with 10 people you still are in close contact with, our families are friends, and we even do holidays together on occasion? Then there is the reverse situation. You were best friends with someone years ago, you think you'll be best friends forever, and then you loose contact for awhile only to eventually somehow reconnect...and find the connection that was once there is definitely gone and you have zero to talk about. That sucks.

I know I am now a much different person than I was in college. Over the last year, through facebook I have gotten back in touch with 3 girls that I have not seen since UGA, 10-12 years ago. Katy and I were sorority sisters, and was definitely one of my two closest friends in the sorority. Last December I saw a post of hers on FB about having to put her cat down that absolutely broke my heart. I emailed her and told her to come to ATL (she was out at Lake Oconee), and we'd go shopping and out to dinner, and just have a fun weekend of catching up. She did, and that's exactly what happened. I hadn't seen her in at least 12 years, and it was like not a day had gone by as soon as she walked through the front door. She ended up coming out to Park city with my family just a few weeks later, and it was like we had never lost touch. Around February my adopted "big sister" in our sorority and I were emailing back and forth and she mentioned wanting to go on a girls trip. Elizabeth was a year older than me, and had a serious boyfriend her last two years of college, so I really hadn't seen much of her since '96. Again, I hadn't seen or talked to her since then until I saw her on facebook sometime last fall. I told her to get on a plane and come skiing with us in March..and she did exactly that. The first time I saw that girl since I was a sophomore/junior in college was at 8am in the Crown Room of Hartsfield in March...and we went out to Park City and had the greatest weekend skiing, catching up, and just laughing and having a good time-just like we used to in school. We are at two totally different places in our lives-she is married, has 2 kids, attends MOPS meetings, and I am...well, not doing any of those things, yet we still had that "connection" that we had all those years ago. Which brings me to my third and final example for the night. My sophomore year in college I was "hanging out" with a guy, (in college its kinda like dating, but not really wanting to label it dating, so you just say you are "hanging out"...lame, I know), and we did a lot with his best friend and the girl he was dating. Her name was Erin, and her smile was infectious and her laugh even more so. This girl was ALWAYS happy, and she made you happy just being around her. She was truly genuine, and there was never any doubt that she said what she meant, and meant what she said. After graduation, she went off to grad school and I moved to Atlanta..without cell phones (we had them, but they were the size of a small carry on, and cost about $5.00 a minute to use) or email (we had email addresses associated with the school, but once you graduated the account was disabled), it was close to impossible to keep in touch with anyone. We got back in touch this year through FB (so for all the people who hate FB, there are days that I agree, ...but I think it does have the power to do good once in awhile), and she is every bit as amazing as I knew she would be if someone had asked me our senior year "where do you see Erin in 10 years?". Erin is married to a surgery resident who works 90-105 hours a month, and gets 3 days off TOTAL for the month, which includes weekends. Her 3 year old daughter Avery lost her sight due to congenital cataracts at 20 months, has gone through countless surgeries, and cannot see without her special glasses..and with them her sight is still far from ideal. She has an 11 month old little boy, that is just learning to walk, and being married to a surgical resident, she is chasing after both of them by herself the majority of the time. She was in grad school to be a transport/flight nurse, but left to follow her husband to St. Louis with his residency. In the years since I last saw her, she has done one amazing thing after another-gone after her pilots license, quit her Phd program mid dissertation to be a pediatric nurse, been a supportive wife and has had the heartbreak of watching her daughter have her sight and then lose it, followed by the struggle of watching her baby girl go through countless surgeries trying to get it back. We exchanged a couple emails and it didn't take more than 1 or 2 to see she was the same ol' Erin I knew back at UGA...and like Elizabeth we are at total opposite places in our lives, but still our friendship "connection" remained as strong as it had been over a decade before. She is a natural athlete, and we were emailing about a half marathon I had done, and she mentioned she would like to try one at some point. After much convincing that she needed to do something FOR HER since she has dedicated her life to the hardest job in the world-being a caring and loving wife and an amazing mom to two small children, she made the arrangements to have everyone at home covered and we decided we were going to Chicago to run a half marathon together. It was much more than a race weekend...it was reconnecting with an old friend, it was Erin getting out of St. Louis and getting to do something for her, it was getting to see her achieve such an awesome accomplishment, and the best part was getting to hang out and feel like we were still the same "Burbage/Straight" dynamic duo we were back in the day, and we always would be. It was like not a day had gone by, let alone close to 4,000 of them (over 11 years). You know you have a special friend when life can take you in different directions, you each can have your own struggles, accomplishments, hardships, etc...and then you can pick back up years later and it's like not a day had passed.

So, my original question remains...why do some people have a special connection that creates friendships that last a lifetime, and then there are other people you think you have that lifelong connection with, but in the end it fades away? Or in a certain stage of your life, when you and another person are in similar situations, the friendship is one way, but as soon as one person moves to a different point of their life, it changes...and yet with others it doesn't matter what changes, or what doesn't-you will always be the best of friends no matter what? I wish I knew, because I would bottle it, sell it, and use it for a business plan for my entrepreneurship class that starts on Saturday.

p.s. Blogger will only allow me to post 5 pictures, so I am going to post more tomorrow about the Chicago race, with more pics.

The pics in this picture are Katy and I in park city, Elizabeth and I in Park City, and the Burbage/Straight with our medals!

Why do I run?

There are several upcoming races in the Atlanta area, and there has been a lot of talk about running, tips, preferences, gear, etc...so I figured I do a blog about it. I have the Chicago half coming up, which I did not start training for when I should have, so I am have been "cramming" at the last minute to get ready. First of all, let me just clarify, I do not consider myself a "serious runner". My sister is a serious runner, as she set a goal last October to run 60 minutes a day, for 365 CONSECUTIVE days, no matter what. She ran everyday on our cruise, and even beat the men (and the employee leading the race, also a man) on the "Disney Castaway 5K" on one of the islands we stopped at. She is serious about it, as I believe she is around day 270. I, on the other hand, don't exercise on vacation. When I am away on a work trip for a week, I rarely get the chance to go out for a run, as we are in meetings for 10 hours a day, and then we usually head straight to a group dinner and I am looking for a cold, frosty beverage. Some people get up at 4am to get a work out in before our meetings start-I am not one of those people. So, I've posted a lot on facebook recently about running, and gotten a lot of questions on WHY I run "so much". Like I said, I don't run this much daily, its to get ready for a race next weekend. I ran one half without any training at all (literally), and couldn't walk normally for 3 days...I don't want that to happen again. So, according to my new Garmin watch, since this past Saturday I have logged 52 miles, with yesterday being a day off day. Thats not typical for me, for when I am not training for something particular I just like to go out for a 45 min-hour run to relieve stress, escape the day, and be alone with my thoughts.

But on to the point...WHY I run. I grew up an athlete, playing sports my entire life. I was never in track, and HATED running with a passion, because in all the sports I played, that was our punishment after we lost (ironically enough, I have a shirt that now says "My sport is your sports punishment". I never saw running as anything but torture. For instance, one summer at Basketball camp, we were woken up in the middle of the night and had to run literally until the sun came up and/or everyone threw up. Yuck. I hated running.

As an adult, I wanted to stay fit and in shape, and the sports I played as a kid weren't really an option anymore. Basketball? Nope. Softball? Sure, there are adult leagues here and there, but its not going to keep me fit. Swimming? I think I burned out of swimming my senior year in high school after doing it for more than a decade, often times getting up at 4:45am for practice- its just never been the same since. So, like most adults, I joined the gym....and quickly realized that wasn't going to cut it. I couldn't stand the girls that would be in the locker room and put on make up to go out and just walk around the gym and try and get noticed, never actually "working out". The huge meat heads that grunted as they lifted huge barbells and then threw them to the ground like they were some muscle God just grossed me out. But that is not what made me quit the gym. The biggest realization I had was that I missed "competing" and the spirit of "community" that I had always known with the sports that I played.

So why half marathons. As an adult, there are very limited options in sports to "compete" in AND be advantageous physically (I know there is competitive cornhole, but thats not going to keep me in my skinny jeans). I actually did try joining an adult swim league, but not being a morning person, the 5:30 am workouts killed me. That lasted all of a week. By default, I started to looking into local running races. I signed up for a 5K here, and a 10K there. I had a goal to train for, and I loved the competetive void that I had had since high school was being filled. I love everything about a road race. The idea that everyone there may have different personal goals (as far as a PR time or whatever it may be), but ultimately every single runner that was lining up shared the same end goal-finish the race as fast as they could, without any injuries. I am not built like a "runner", nor will I ever consider myself to be a "runner" in the sense that I don't run races trying to win them, or trying to place in a certain top percentage. I run races because I love the sense of community in the racing world that I did have as a kid in other sports but as an adult had not yet experienced. I like the palpable feeling of excitement in the corral just before the start, I like the expo the day before to see what is new in the world of shoes, shirts, gear, etc. I love the sense of accomplishment when you are finished, and seeing families waiting to hug their runner, or kids waiting to see their mom or dad. I love the people who aren't running, but come out to cheer the other people one along the course. So one day last fall my friend emailed me a link for a 5K and asked if I wanted to do it. In order to finish a 5 or 10K, I usually just ran a couple times the week before the race. Like I said, my goal is never and will never be to win a race. Out of curiosity I usually get my time, but I really don't even care that much about that. I do them for the sum total experience, from the first day of training until I am in the car going home after it is over. So as long as I can finish injury free, I'm happy. The link had a half marathon on it, so I replied and suggested we do that instead. She agreed, and we signed up that day. We were officially six weeks out from race day the day we signed up. I printed out my training schedule and out of 6 weeks, only 'missed' one day of the training. The night before our big race, my friend spent the night at my house, we had our pasta, laid out our clothes, tagged our shirts with our bib, and got everything ready. We were literally like kids the night before the first day of kindergarden. We didnt know what to expect, we didn't know if we'd finish, we just knew we were excited to see what it would be like. The next morning, it was 16 degrees at the start, with 30mph wind gusts. My family was out of town, but she had her husband, kids, and family coming to the finish, as well as a couple of our other friends that planned on being there. In the car she mentioned she thought she might cry when she finished, and I made fun of her, thinking she was nuts-"ITS JUST A RACE!" Who gets emotional over a race?? We parked the car and stayed in to keep warm as long as possible, but eventually worked our way over to the other runners. We got into the corral and froze our butts off and everyone was stretching, using the port-o-potties one last time, and listening to the music trying to get pumped up. You could hear all the little groups of women talking about how it was their first "half", etc. All of a sudden the announcer said to line up, and just as quickly he sent us on our way...we ended up pretty far back in at the start, and it was such an amazing sight to look ahead and see thousands of people all running in one giant pack (this was at the VERY start), all setting out to acheive their own individual goals. Much to my own surprise, as I took that moment in I got A LITTLE teary eyed, but only for a split second, and nobody saw. We had a great race, and when we finished we both looked at each other, and burst into tears. I am pretty sure I lost it more than she did. I don't think I have ever felt that sense of accomplishment before...and if so, not in a long time. We worked hard for 6 weeks, (which isnt that long, I realize), and we ran a great race and finished very well for it being our first one. Her family and our friends were there cheering us on, and the feeling at the finish line of everyone so excited, so proud of themselves and each other, was something I don't think I'll ever forget.

I remember being very little, riding my bike alongside my dad, who was out for a run. We passed another runner on the street and he and my dad said "hi" to each other. I said "do you know him?" and my dad said "no, but all runners are brothers and sisters". I've never forgotten that, and I don't really know why its stuck with me all these years, but it has. I've seen the following on bumper stickers, shirts, etc, but my sorority sister has "I run because its cheaper than therapy" on her facebook page. That is exactly why I run. After a chaotic day, with a lot on your mind, putting on your shoes and just walking out the door to go for a run is the best medicine and the easiest way to clear your head. When I was in college, I had a NIKE poster on my wall that said ""There are clubs you can't belong to, neighborhoods you can't live in, schools you can't get into, but the roads are always open." I love it.

So I run to stay fit. I run to train for halfs. I take breaks between half's where I don't run at all for awhile, or if I start to feel like I am getting burned out, I always take a break and do something else until I want to run again. But what keeps me going on mile 10 of a half marathon, or even just a long training run, is thinking of all the people that CANT be out there running. I am very fortunate to have an able body that works for the most part (ha, ha...I have my physical medical issues, but so far they haven't been crippling). I think about all my friends that I've lost over the years to everything from car accidents, cancer, alcohol, and other horrible tragedies. I call on Dr's offices and mental hospitals for work where I see kids and adults that are strapped to a bed, or can't even feed themselves or go to the bathroom on their own...so when I am feeling tired, or exhausted, I think about how lucky I am that I can put one foot in front of the other, and experience all the feelings that you can with running, when so many people out there can't. I am very competitive, and I like to push myself. I like the feeling after running a half marathon that I literally gave it everything I had, and I have nothing left. When I used to swim competitively, my parents used to tell me to race as fast as I could, to the point I didn't have an ounce of energy left to get out of the pool...the only thing I have found as an adult that gives me that same satisfaction, pride and accomplishment is running. When I ran the Zooma half, a lady ran next to me at one point that was clearly in the midst of chemo/radiation. She had very little hair left, but a couple patches here and there...and yet she was out there in the freezing cold and wind, running 13.1 miles right there with everyone else. Thats dedication. I looked at her bald hair and my first thought was she was a real "GI Jane", but my second thought was thinking about how much I take for granted. She was in a fight for her life, and I was just hoping the hills wouldn't be too bad. The entire rest of the race, she was all I thought about...and I chopped my hair off two days later to donate to locks of love. I wish I had gotten her name, as I would have donated it in her honor...I still did, as she was the catalyst behind it, but she'll never know.

The best and easiest way to find out about local races is through www.racevine.com They make it so easy-you put in where you want to run (or swim, or bike) and what dates and you get a list of all available options. I highly recommend it..even for a fun 5K, or a challenging marathon.

One event not "running" related, but definately pushing my own personal limits, was the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk. A couple years ago, one of my friends and I signed up to do it, just thinking "it'd be something fun and different to do". First of all, I do not like to camp. I consider camping when you stay at a hotel and the door to your room opens up to the outside. We walked 20 miles a day, for 3 days, in the pouring rain (it rained all 3 days), and it was freezing cold. It was Georgia's first freeze, and all of our clothes froze the first night, because they told us to keep them outside our tent once the rain stopped. This experience was pushing myself in a different way...but to see all the women (and men) walking for the same cause was inspiring and humbling at the same time. Over the course of the 3 days, everyone kept telling us that the 3 day event was "life altering". At the end of the 1st and 2nd day, when we got back to camp we'd talk about how we didn't see how it was so life changing. What were we missing? What did previous walkers experience (besides dry air and warmer temps) that we werent? Then we got to the closing ceremonies. The feelings over the 3 days were very similar to my first half marathon-the people cheering all along the route, the feeling in the corral before we got started, the finish line where all the strangers were hugging each other after 3 days, 60 miles, and freezing cold camping. All the finishers got blue shirts for the closing ceremonies, and the finishers who were survivors or currently had breast cancer got pink ones. After we filed into the area and got settled, they all filed in together, holding one shoe in the air for solidarity. One by one, all the walkers in blue bent down and took a shoe off and held in the air in support of them. Some people in the crowd even joined in, so show their support. There were literally THOUSANDS of people there, some in wheel chairs, a lot of bald heads, some just walking over to see what was going on...but everyone that held their shoe did it for ONE purpose-help support the fight against breast cancer, and help these amazing ladies get their life back. It gave you goosebumps to see it, there wasn't a dry eye in the crowd, and it was absolutely nothing short of "life changing". I wrote a "thank you" to all the people that donated to our walk, and through email circulation it ended up in the hands of a Susan G Comen board member-who published it on their website and in their newsletter. Here it is:

We did it! Together, Brooke and I walked 60 miles and raised over $8500 to go towards the Susan G. Komen Breast cancer foundation!

The walk started at 7am on Friday, with the opening ceremonies. There were 3000 walkers, 150 of which were men. We walked among amazing people, many of which were survivors themselves. A man was walking with his two daughters (one of which was also a survivor), in honor of his wife that lost her battle. Another man, his daughter, and his second wife, were walking in honor of his first wife who had passed away from the disease. Every person had their own reason for walking, all of which were truly an inspiration.

We got started after the opening ceremonies, at 8am. There were pit stops every 2-3 miles, where the pit crew would chant “2, 4, 6, 8, eat, drink and urinate”. We had more food than we could ever imagine, water, Gatorade, music, and plenty of port-o-potties. The crew that worked the event was unbelievable. At every stop, everyone was so helpful, upbeat, and encouraging!

What I found most amazing was the support from the general public. As we would walk down the street, cars passing by would honk, people would cheer out their windows, and everyone would give us the thumbs up as we passed. The amount of people at the cheering stations was truly overwhelming. One woman got our of her car across the street and yelled “MY MOTHER THANKS YOU”, while another woman rolled down her window at a stop light and yelled “My mother is alive because of you!” We were at lunch on Day 2, and a 4-year old little girl walked in with a poster board bigger than her that said, “My mommy is”, followed by her 6-year old brother with an equally big sign that said “Saving Boobies”. When they found their mom, all the walkers stood up and started clapping in appreciation of their support. The passion that the supporters had was such an inspiration, and really reinforced our reasons for walking. There were women in the midst of chemo/radiation that didn’t have the strength to walk, but showed up at EVERY single cheering station along the way. Seeing the ladies with scarves on their heads, yelling as loud as they could as we walked by, often left me speechless.

The closing ceremonies were something that I will never forget. As the 261 survivors that walked filed in, all the other walkers took off a shoe and raised it in the air in support of their amazing strength and courage. The survivors wore pink shirts, and walked to the center of the circle, with the other walkers surrounding them in blue shirts. Watching the breast cancer survivors file into the closing ceremonies, knowing the money that we raised was going to fund the research that was keeping these phenomenal women alive, gave us a sense of pride, accomplishment, and admiration that I will never forget. It was an honor to be in the company of these amazing women for 72 hours, and has honestly changed my life.

Many people walked with the quote “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself" on their backs. To me, the heroes this weekend were the women that had been through the pain and agony of cancer, and still found the courage and strength to walk 60 miles.

The Atlanta 3 day raised $54.2 million dollars this weekend. There is not a single research grant that is not in some way assisted by the Susan G. Komen foundation. It was truly an amazing experience to be a part of something that has touched so many people, and will hopefully some day be a reason why sisters, mothers, aunts, and friends will all be able to beat this painful disease.

We couldn’t have done it without your support, and for that I am truly grateful. The money that you donated is contributing to an amazing cause, and on behalf of all the walkers, we thank you!!!

While I am not a huge fan of Melissa Etheridges' music, I do have one song on my ipod that gets me motivated everytime I hear it. And, it sums up what I am trying to say pretty well. Here are the lyrics:

"I run for life"

It's been years since they told her about it

The darkness her body possessed

And the scars are still there in the mirror
Everyday that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast
If you ask her why she is still running
She'll tell you it makes her complete


I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother your sister your wife
I run for you and me my friend I run for life

It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul
And now I'm still learning the lesson
To waken when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for us all

And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers
Running for more

So, that is why I run (when I do) and what keeps me going when I think I've hit a wall. I posted some pictures from the 3 day and our first half.

Getting Married vs..NOT getting married

Right after college I had my "crew" of girls, and we did just about everything together. One by one each of them started to get married. The weddings were a blast, and everyone had fun, but things were just starting to be different. Our dinner club had 10 girls at the time (our first dinner was ironically scheduled for Sept 11, 2001...), and one by one each girl announced her engagement, and then we all usually were in the wedding. We had the showers, the bachelorette parties, etc. It was all a very good time had by all. After the weddings, things slowly started to change. Instead of going out during the week AND on the weekend, it became usually just the weekend. It got down to 3 of us that were not married, and we'd all kinda joke about it, and then those two girls ended up getting engaged and married. So, then there was me. The lone ranger. The last one standing. After the weddings, we still hung out all the time, especially during football season, and we all always had dinner club once a month. Then the babies started...and one by one each girl announced her pregnancy. We had the baby showers, and all the fun planning that comes with a new addition, but even more, things began to change. Now instead of seeing each other on the weekends AND going out during the week, or even just hanging out on the weekend, we usually just see the girls at dinner club once a month, and then maybe a special occasion or two. Out of the 10 girls in dinner club, one by one, each had their babies...until it was only me and another girl without children...(but the other girl was married). Then the inevitable happened...she got pregnant, too.

That is the story of my girlfriends from college. I always thought my best girlfriend from high school and 3 of my 4 best guy friends from high school would remain single. For my parents surprise 60th birthday party in Vegas, we all brought a "significant other"...within ONE month of the party, we had all broken up our respective "others". We just were all alike in that we were fairly non commital and just liked to do our own thing. Two March's ago, the 4 of us were in Park City, all single, laughing about how it just always seems to be that way. Now, one is getting married in Sept, one is getting married in Oct, and the last one is in the most serious relationship I've ever seen him in, and don't expect it to be long before he is registering at Macys with that magic gun.

So, once I again all my friends in a separate group are getting married, one by one. I am sure babies will be soon to follow.

I am SO happy for all of them, and the funny thing is I don't want to be where they are. Well, I don't want to be married, atleast not RIGHT NOW. I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with a adventurous, nice, smart guy who liked to travel and gave me the space I needed. (I need my space in a relationship, or I get very clostorphobic, and I am a total committment phobe....but thats a blog for a different time.) What I do want, in MY OWN selfish and perfect world, is for them to all be back where I am...footloose and fancy free. Back when we could all go to the beach at the drop of a hat, or fly to NYC to go shopping, or out to Vegas for a crazy weekend. Unfortunately, those times have changed.

So here is the dilema. I have no desire to get married. None. I like to do what I want, when I want. That may be somewhat selfish to some, but I feel like I want to go and see and do as much as I can now while my only responsibility is myself. I don't think its selfish at all...what would be selfish is getting married and having kids, and then feeling that way...because that would not be fair to my husband or my children. When I get married and have kids I want to be at a point that my they are my primary focus, and right now I'm just not there yet. I have no debt, all my bills are paid, so if I want to buy an expensive item, I only have to justify it to myself. I dont have to feel guilty because its money I SHOULD be saving for college funds, or whatever. In the next month I'll be in Chicago, Palm Springs, Napa, Orlando and New Orleans. I couldnt do all that with a family, and its hard to even do all that with a husband or boyfriend. I felt like a crappy girlfriend when I was dating a guy and every weekend he wanted to come see me I was out of town (scheduled before we started dating), or had plans that I could not change. Its not that I'd have to ask for "permission" from a boyfriend, but it is common courtesy to run your plans past each other...and I don't see jetting off here and there just about every weekend being 'cool' with any guy I date.

Maybe thats just a sign I am not ready at this point to get married, or that I haven't found the right guy. Some girls have been dreaming about their wedding since they were a little kid...not me. I really don't think I'd have any regrets if I never got married...but the problem lies in the fact that I do want to have children. I love my nephews, and I love little kids, and I think if I got to the end of the road and looked back on my life and didn't have any children I would be so regretful of that decision.

In the course of my work, and just everyday life I see so many people that are UNHAPPILY married. I know there are good times and bad, but it just seems like so many people are just not happy to be together. And in my opinion, once you bring kids into the mix, you are STUCK with that person. Divorce is not an option. So give up being footloose and fancy free to feel stuck and unhappy in a marriage? No thanks.

So I've gotten to the point where people make me feel like I am just about the only 31 year old left that is not yet married with kids. This is what pisses me off....when I say to someone "oh, I met a guy, he's 30-whatever, never been married" and they cut me off and say "whats wrong with him then?" AS IF, because he hasn't been married by 32, there MUST be something wrong with him. Um, are you forgetting who you are talking to?? So you are basically telling me there is something wrong with me because I haven't gotten married to someone before now..and if I had, I guarantee I'd be divorced because no guy I have dated up to this point was right for me. So, if you are still single at my age, people either assume a) you are a lesbian (I have no problem with lesbians, but I am not one of them), or b) there is something wrong with you. I wish all the people that thought that way would go to NYC or Boston for a weekend. NO ONE gets married before mid-late 30's up there. I LOVED visiting Boston every summer, because everyone was my age, and single. Same in NYC. It is just the South where there is a sense of urgency to get married and have babies, and if you don't by the age of 30 you may as well join a convent or wear a scarlet letter. I was watching the TERRIBLE reality show "Southern Belles",and the girl said "It is taboo in the south not to have a child by the age of 30". Um...WHAT?! Seriously? What planet are you on? This was the same girl that said she was "obsessed with freezing her face with botox". Stupid show.

Yesterday I went and visited with one of the best guy friends from high school and saw his lovely family and 2 year old little girl, and his wife that is pregnant with twins. They were very happy, and such a cute little family. Then I went to dinner with one of the other guys and he was so happy to be telling me the latest and greatest about his girlfriend, and in 15 years I have never seen him so excited to talk about anyone like he did her. I don't think there is anything wrong with being picky, or waiting until I find someone that I will be as sure as I can be that we will be happy...as we know, there are no guarantees in life, but we can certainly set ourselves up for the best possible situation. So, until "Mr. Right" comes across my path, I intend to keep going anywhere and everywhere, and doing whatever I want. I have a feeling I'll want to slow down after I meet someone that has that something special...but until then, I am HAPPILY 31 (almost 32), not a lesbian, and single. ;-)

Coming home from Orlando

So, everyone has their "pet peeves", or things that just are more than a simple annoyance. I have very bad sleep issues, and when I do sleep I am a SUPER light sleeper, so snoring to me may win the title as the most annoying, grating, unbearable sound that I cannot deal with. When I hear someone snore I literally want to...well, I'll keep that one to myself as its not very nice. So a couple meetings ago I had a roommate (yes, we are grown ups and still have roommates at meetings...which is an entirely different complaint) who snored pretty badly. I would wake her up throughout the night and ask her to roll over, do whatever to make it stop. It didnt. One night I took a pillow and threw it as hard as I could (and I can throw pretty darn hard after years of sports) and socked it at her. She woke up startled and goes "What? What'd I do?" and I said "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SNORING". Needless to say I got no sleep that week.

So this past week I went to Orlando for my meeting and met my roommate (yup, we have roommates and the are also RANDOMLY chosen for us), and as we were both getting ready for bed she said "now I should let you know, I do snore". The chills that went up my spine were as if she just told me she sleep walks, and there was a chance she may end up in my bed trying to spoon me (I also do not sleep in the bed with people...again, a whole different topic). I couldn't even give a polite reply like "oh, its ok", I just sat there silent, thinking to myself "How in the world do this many people snore??" My ex snored so loud I could hear him sleeping one flight of stairs above me. My ex in college slept during every movie we ever saw and snored horribly. The list goes on and on. Anyway, luckily she wore her breathe right strips, and I was so exhausted by the end of the day, I never heard a sound, and she was as sweet as she could be. (Side note: I did have a roommate once at a work meeting that stayed in the room while we all went out and finished every bottle in the mini bar. When I got in after being out in South Beach, the lights were out so I hopped in bed. After about 5 minutes she thought I was asleep, and got up and pulled the sheets/blanket up on MY bed up to my chin and literally tucked me in. I pretended I was asleep as I had no idea what to do...I felt like we were in a scene of Single White Female, and one false move and my life was over. So I let her pull the sheets up while I pretended to be asleep and she got back in her bed and went to sleep. At least she didnt snore, I guess. To this day, my team refers to her as "The Tucker In'er" as none of us remember her name, myself included.) The stories I could tell of roommates at work trips...nuts.

ANYWAY, I digress. Back to my topic of snoring. So I get on my fight to come home and I am sitting in the middle seat. At close to 6' tall, already, I'm not a happy camper. I usually sit in the aisles to put my legs in the aisle when the flight attendants aren't using them. The guy on my right is not just taking up the entire arm rest, but his arm is dangling over into my lap. The guy on my left...well, here we go. We are still in the boarding process and he is snoring louder than I have ever heard or thought possible. I look around as if someone is playing a joke on me (as all my team members were on the flight and know that I pretty much have a meltdown over the sound of snoring) and see nope, he's really doing this on his own. So I figure its just through the boarding process and he'll wake up when the pilot comes on or we start to taxi. Nope. The pilot came on and at that point Mr Sawing Logs over here just puts his window shade down and his chair back. He literally made that god awful sound with each breathe, and on about 5 occassions snored SO loud and hard he CHOKED himself awake and would wake up and look around startled. The first time I loudly said "that can't be healthy" to the guy next to me that was awake and WAY to amused at my predicament. The second time he choked himself awake I looked at the snoring guy and he looked at me like he was confused and I said "Seriously, this has got to stop. I cannot handle it". What does he do? Lays his pretty little head up against the window and back he goes to sleepy land. The next time he does it, I said "Oh my god, if someone doesn't put me out of my misery, I am about to put him out of my misery". The guy on my right (guy in his mid 60's) just busts out laughing, and I am far from seeing the humor in this situation. So this goes on and on the rest of the flight. They make the announcement we are preparing to land and the flight attendant comes through and says "Sir. Sir. Sir" No response. She looks at me and says "can you nudge him to put his chair up?" Um, can I nudge him? I'll do you one better than that....and I took the liberty of smacking his arm as hard as I could and said "put your chair up, we are landing". Again, chuckles coming from the other man in our row, who was about to get his own smack for getting so much enjoyment out of the misery I was in.

The flight was only 1 hour and 15 minutes, which is why it doesn't qualify as the worst flight ever. Had it been longer, it definitely would have. That title still goes to my flight home from Sydney, Australia. More to come on that at another time.

P.S. I got hit on by a married man on this trip. Two, actually. For those new to the blog, see several blogs below to understand that comment.

They DO have post offices in Arlington!

So, as I procrastinate studying for my finance midterm, I thought I'd close out the end of the saga (and I do mean SAGA) with letting everyone know, rest assured, Post Offices, Fedex Kinkos, UPS stores, DO exist in the zip clode 22206, believe it or not. I returned home from my trip to Orlando to have a box on my front step with the things I have been asking for back now for over a month on my door step...and the address label was even written in "PC"'s handwriting, which means he actually MUST have gotten his butt up off the couch, turned the X-BOX off, and found his way to the nearest place that sends packages (which happened to be across the street from his place, as I saw it there when I was visiting), and mailed it ALL ON HIS OWN. So, that chapter of my life has officially come to a close, as there is no reason we'd ever have contact again.

40 Tips to a better life email

I was emailing today with one of my best friends who I hadn't talked to in awhile. Upon catching up, she seemed to think I sounded "down", and said she wanted to send me something she reads every day. I said ok, thinking it was another typical forward. Upon reading it, it was actually one of the most profound emails I have read in as long as I can remember. Here it is...

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer . They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey, I'm thinking of ya!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Please forward this to everyone you care about.

May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more!

There are several points on here that resonate more than others. In fact, I would almost go as far as to say some are "life changing"...at least in the moment. This may be a lengthy blog, as I am going to give my take on the ones I find especially relevant..

1. Take a 30 min walk every day. While you walk smile, as that is the ultimate anti-depressent.

I walk my dog every day that I have him (I share him with my mom)...and I can honestly say there is no better point in my day that when I walk Bailey. We have no agenda, no time limit, no schedule. I let him stop and sniff anything and everything he wants and we just walk until he gets tired and wants to turn around. My biggest concern for that 45 min to an hour is if he is too hot or too tired...I really don't think about much else, but enjoy the environment, enjoy the outdoors, and enjoy my dog. To me, the time with him is the high point of my day.

5. Live with the 3 E's...Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy...

Unfortunately, due to sleep issues I have a lot of days that I just dont have any energy. But I am trying. Some days its all I can do to just get through the day so I can go back and try again at some sleep. But more importantly than that is to have empathy. I do think I am very empathetic towards others, but I have a hard time showing it. I can feel so much for someones situation or where they are in their life, but I just haven't gotten to the point I can let them know. Thats something to work on, and something that I think I would definately grow as a person from learning how to do. Feeling empathy towards others is only half of it....showing it is the other half, and I have yet to get there. I hope someday I do.

8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

I love the memories I have with my grandpas. I love the stories my grandpa Burbage used to tell me, and how he always called me "Ms. America" whenever I entered a room. I love how my Grandpa Yri always says "well golly gee, is that right?" as if we were watching an old family sitcom from the 60's. I love my nephews-all 5 of them, and how all 5 have their own distinct personalities, senses of humor, and interests. I can find something uniquely in common with each one of them that only he and I share.

9. Try and make at least 3 people smile a each day

I love to make people laugh. I tell jokes, I MAY exaggerate a story or two, but only because I love to hear people laugh (sometimes that takes embellishing the story a little), and usually I have some story about something that happened recently that can make people guffaw like crazy. Sometimes the best therapy for me when I am having a rough time is hearing some one laugh at something I said.

14. Dont waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

Probably one of my biggest pitfalls. I have a tendancy to fear the unknown, and want a "plan"...even when it is out of my control. I have had some rough relationships in the past, and unfortunately have carried much of that into other relationships which ended up playing a huge role in their demise. I need to learn to let go, know it is what it is, and whats done is done...and move on as a lesson learned. Control the controllables, and what I cant control, just let happen. I need to learn that everything that is going to happen in the future is not going to be the way something happened in the past, and stop fearing things out of my control, and just live in the "now". No one knows what is going to happen in an hour, let alone days, weeks or years from now. Just enjoy each moment as it comes and make the most of it, without fearing what happens after that moment is over. I know all to well how quickly something can change and I need to stop fearing that next phone call that something happened to someone, and just live like we've only got one chance to make the most of what we have.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

I used to smile and laugh all the time. I don't think I deal with heavy stress as well as I used to, and I let it get to me more now whereas before I just let it roll off my back. When I am bogged down with school, work, relationships, I have a tendancy to let it effect me a lot more than it should. I need to learn to let things go that I cannot control, take one thing at a time, and just do the best I can at everything else and know thats all I can do.

18. Life isnt fair, but its still good.

I have a hard time even admitting it, but sometimes I feel like life isnt fair TO ME, which is ludicrous. I have lost several close friends, and have had some less than ideal relationships, but I am about as lucky as they come over all. I have a family that loves me, friends that would do anything for me, and I have a great job and can travel all the time, spend a month out west every winter, and snuggle with my dog at night. I have never wanted for anything (but worked a lot of what I have), I have a great house, a great job, and haven't really ever struggled...and it KILLS me to see other people struggle, which I have come to think may be a downfall. I think I spend too much money on people that don't appreciate it, and should donate that money to a good cause instead of wasting it on people looking for a hand out. Lesson learned. Someone I met randomly once said "you only get one shot as this thing called life, you may as well give it all you've got". At the time I just laughed it off, but its so true.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

I need to learn to forgive more. Or maybe forgive, but not forget. I have a tendency when I forgive I ALSO forget, and then get screwed over all over again. I just need to be smarter when it comes to this area...I need to stop holding grudges towards people that have wronged me in the past, but upon forgiveness, know they are capable of doing it all over again.

20. Don't take yourself seriously. No one else does.

I actually pride myself on this one. I used to never take myself seriously, and pretty much laugh at myself at any and every chance I got. I still do to a great degree, but I've gotten more serious over the years. I want to get back to the carefree person I used to be, where I could laugh at anything, and make people laugh at everything. I miss that girl, and I know a lot of people do, too.

21. You dont have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Not a good one for me. I've always been opinionated. I used to want to be a lawyer. I don't feel very strongly about a lot of subjects, but the ones I do, I wont back down if someone challenges my point of view. I will fight to the death, and I need to learn to just accept people have different view points and move on. It doesnt lesson my arguement to have someone that sees things differently...it just means we are different, which, if anything, makes things that much better. Sometimes I forget that.

22. Make peace with your past so it doesnt spoil your present.

Like I mentioned above, I carry a lot from past relationships to current ones, and its definiately hurt me. I am always on the defensive in relationships from being hurt pretty bad in the past, and always ready to run to avoid getting hurt again. I often wonder how certain relationships would have played out differently had I not been through some experiences I have been through in my life. I also think the type of relationship I seek has a lot to do with what I've been through, and certain fears I still carry with me day to day. I think there is a comfort level is dating people that I know won't work out....I need to get over that.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

For this one, the first thing that comes to mind is me being on the OTHER end. People see me with a nice house, some disposable income, parents that have done well for themselves, and assume that I havent had a care in the world my entire life, and everything has been handed to me. I get pretty upset at this assumption, as I would be willing to bet I have been on as rough a road as anyone throughout my life, in dealing with loss and tragedy, but because I dont "fit the mold", people don't think I have been anything but privledged. I am VERY privledged, but I still worked throughout high school and college, and have paid my way since I graduated....but the financial side isn't even my issue. I have lived through a lot, and dealt with a lot, and am still trying to find my way. Sometimes I stumble, sometimes I fall, but so far I've always gotten back up. I can only hope that continues.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

I think I realized this for the first time TODAY. I would say I've been pretty unhappy for the last three months, waiting on someone to change their mind...then it hit me when I was talking to someone else about their relationship...you cant wait for someone else to make YOU happy. You have to make YOURSELF happy. No one can do that for you. You decide what you will and will not put up with, what does and doesn't work for you...no one else does. So if you aren't happy, get out of your situation, and search until you find another one where you are happy again. I cant force someone to decide the time is right to be together, or to be willing to give it another shot...so why waste more time sitting around waiting? It sounds so stupid to me today, when yesterday that is exactly what I was doing.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

Easy. The answer? NO. Neither will HE. 5 years ago I lost a ton of weight over a guy that I couldnt even talk to for more than 10 minutes. He was nice to look at, but thats about it. No personality. 3 years ago I spent my birthday crying to my mom about a stupid boy that hurt me on my birthday. Do I care today? NO. I've been "sad" for the last 3 months over a guy because I felt like I ruined things, and it was all my fault we split up...do I think in 5 years I'll even remember his name? Nope. And finally, that is okay with me.

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

I HATE feeling like somewhere, someone is mad at me in the world. So I agree if someone offers an authentic apology, you should accept it. But like I said above, that doesnt mean forget. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Forgive, but stay on high alert.

29.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

It goes both ways...as long as you remember its only temporary. In the good times it as important, if not more so, to remember "this too shall pass" than it is in the bad times. Dont spend all your money in times of prosperity, because there will be day that they money isnt coming in like it was before. In the times you feel like you just cant face the day, take comfort in knowing there will be a day you will smile again, you will laugh again, you will love again.

30. You're job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

I think I am pretty good at staying in touch with my friends and my close friends know who they are at all times. They know I will always be here no matter what, and that will never change. I'd be there in a heartbeat for any of my girls, and my guys.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

Sometimes I see my friends with families and wish I was that 'settled'...but then think how I can pack a bag and be in Napa the next day, or at the beach, or spend a month in Park City, and know I couldn't do that if I was married with kids...so when I have that passing feeling of wishing I was at a different point in my life, I think of all the things I can do right now, and all the places I can go, or the things I can buy without any guilt (because its only me I am responsible for, and not a household), and I realize I am right where I need to be. My time will come.

33. The best is yet to come.

I believe that. I think I am being given lessons I need to learn every day to prep me for what is to come my way some day. I feel like I am collecting all the tools in my tool belt so when I get to where I'm going I have everything I need to be successful. I am going to be the best wife and mom there ever was, but I need to find my own way first.

35. Do the right thing!

Sometimes the easiest thing isnt the "right" thing...but I was raised better than to take short cuts. I always think to myself "if my mom or dad found out I did (....) , would they be okay with it?" I am 31, and if the answer is no, I still don't do it.

37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for......... Today I accomplished.......

I think a key to being happy is finding self worth and value in yourself and what you do. Which is why I know I will have a non profit one day. I will work with kids, encourage girls to get involved with sports, something to that effect. If you arent making a difference, or arent in coming across things to be thankful for, then you arent living your life to the fullest extent. Probably the single greatest feeling of accomplishment I have ever had was finishing my first half marathon. When Stephanie and I crossed the finish line we both started crying, because we had trained every day, we worked towards a goal, and we accomplished it. Setting goals and being able to check them off one at a time creates more value in your life than just living day to day, without direction. One year of working my tail off in grad school has already given me more of a feeling of accomplishment than 4 years of undergrad, because I didnt have to work that hard in undergrad. In the last year, I've learned more than ever, the more you put into something, the more you get out of it, and the prouder you are of your acheivements.